This is a holy place. It is made holy by those who loved here before us. It is made holy by Alice Metcalf Spaulding. It is made holy by your loving attendance. It is made holy by those wanting to be here but can not. This is a holy place where we gather to be the closest to our dear Alice, each other, and our Lord God.
My name is Dave Watts. I am a Lay Eucharistic Visitor sanctioned by my priests of this parish of St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Maumee, Ohio, and licensed by the bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Ohio. I carry the Holy Communion, the body and blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, out from the church to those who are not able to come to church.
I visited and celebrated Holy Communion with Alice Spaulding on a monthly basis for seven years from October 20, 1996 to October 19, 2003 at the Foundation Park Care Center.
These visits began with my attendance at the early Sunday church worship service in this chapel. Here I would be the last one to receive Holy Communion at the rail. Then I would stay at the rail to receive the prepared Holy Communion kit that was sanctified by the priest during the service as part the Holy Communion received by the congregation. As I received the kit, the priest would announce to whom I would be delivering Holy Communion. Alice was so prayed for and I was sent out to her by the church. Alice received the Holy Communion, not from just me, but Alice continued sharing it with the whole church.
I usually visited Alice on Sundays from just after ten in the morning when residents of the Foundation Park Care Center have been dressed and had their breakfast, until Alice's lunch time at around eleven thirty. Many times I would linger into her lunch to sit with Alice or assist her and later feed her.
As I passed through the front door of the Foundation Park Care Center, I would remind myself that I was entering a different world. When I encountered Alice I would first quietly open myself and gently attempt to enter her world.
I always found Alice to be well cared for even under the extreme difficulties of patient care that the Foundation Park Care Center had to deal with.
I felt welcome by Alice and the Foundation Park Care Center.
Even with the time it took to transition into Alice's world, we usually had time to worship using a full Holy Communion service similar to that being executed today at Alice's memorial.
When I first visited Alice she could still play the piano.
During the beginning of my visits with Alice, I would bring her friend, Helen Wood, with me. We would share the Holy Communion and then Alice and Helen could have a lady's chat.
Alice and I also looked at religious art, sang hymns using taped music and the very hymnal with which she was so familiar.
I remember one day when Alice and I were singing. As usual, I would use my finger to guide Alice across the words of the hymn. For some reason Alice became concerned. At first I was perplexed. This particular hymn had two optional melodies. I had begun to follow one with my finger but was singing to the other melody. Alice got my finger on the proper melody. It was nice to be corrected by Alice.
Sometimes I just sat with her, read psalms to her, or we would simply talk. I remember talking about her Mom and Dad in the present tense. At Christmas time she would be very busy.
I would tell her to look at the beauty to be found just out the windows. I would repeatedly tell her to be sure to look at the walls of her room if she needed to find out anything.
I remember the poster on the wall to the side of Alice's bed entitled 'Who Alice Is'. Alice is a teacher, a granny, a cat lover, a baker, a poet, a composer, a Master in music theory, a bird lover, a craftsman, an aunt, a seamstress, a dog lover, a vocalist, Alice is loving, a mother, a wife, Alice is passionate, a pianist, a pilot, a sister, Alice is loyal, a friend, a librarian, Alice is 'Dottie', a garden clubber, and Alice is an Episcopalian.
I remember the special pictures from her children high on the wall guarding the head of Alice's bed: David's water color of a speeding boat - The Runabout II; Joanna's needle work picture of a little girl with an umbrella and a cheerful rainbow; Betsey's needle work picture of a small bird attempting to feed four (too many) offspring with the saying, 'Lord, give me patience... to endure my blessings'; and Mary Lynn's drawing of Alice's black dog and her grey dog .
I remember the refreshing green of granddaughter Susie's water color of a tree entitled 'Autumn in Colorado', framed by Alice's children for her 1997 Mother's Day.
I remember the large pictures of Alice's guardian and Christmas angels looming on the wall behind the head of her bed.
I remember the 1999 whimsical drawing of a turkey with the names of Alice's family sticking out in the tail feathers: Joanna, Barbara, Mary and Mike, Michael and Jennifer, David and Bobby Jo, Betsey Jane, Chelsea, Mary Lynn, Steve, Dan, Susie and Seth, and so on.
There was so much love on Alice's walls. Letters and cards from family, friends, and fellow parishioners were there. Pictures were there. Even a calendar upon which I logged my visits with Alice.
Alice was progressively less able to read her walls but I read them and conveyed the love for all of you. Those entering Alice's room could see from the walls that Alice was loved and that induced their own love for Alice as well.
The most striking and endearing quality of Alice was her child like joy during the Holy Communion service. Alice uttered 'ooh's and 'aah's like a child opening Christmas presents as I read prayers and scripture. Alice was always so thankful. Alice loves her Lord, her God.
As Alice's dementia increased, I would be reading to her and come to the end of particularly beautiful and familiar set of words or verse. I would say to Alice, "Weren't those pretty words". She would say, "Yes". I would ask, "Would you like me to read them again." Alice always said, "Yes." And I happily complied.
Another quality I found in Alice was her care for and trust in others. She was warm to others and allowed others to help her.
Once when we were in Alice's room, I was about to administer the holy elements when a wandering lady entered the room. I paused. The lady began to babble and Alice responded. I felt like a stranger in the strangest of worlds. I don't believe any real language was being spoken but I observed the kindest regards on Alice's face during the communication. The babbling stopped, the wandering lady reflected the same kind regards, and quietly left the room. Alice and I returned to the Holy Communion service.
I usually attempted to have Holy Communion in Alice's room, although more of the services were held out in a common living area or a recreational and dining area of the Foundation Park Care Center. There were a couple of times that we sat outside in the 'Center's atrium.
The small table below was often used for Alice.
I remember one visit where I found Alice in a common living area watching TV. We walked back to her room and shared Holy Communion. Afterwards, I wanted to return Alice to where I had originally found her. Alice stopped me and said she wanted to stay there and enjoy the moment. So I lingered quietly with her.
There developed a spiritual intimacy between Alice and I. Alice became part of my life as I felt I was part of her life. As dementia increased so did the need of assistance with the administration of the bread and wine, the body and blood of our Lord. It is not possible to force Holy Communion but Alice usually and sometimes amazingly received. On the few times that Alice was so close to receiving but not quite, I would receive the Holy Communion in her name. I then repeatedly told her so. I hoped that through the confusion, Alice felt as if she had actually received Holy Communion as usual. This was only possible because I knew Alice and felt so close to Alice.
I remember one very intimate time with Alice. We had just completed our Holy Communion service. I was slowly tidying up and had my arms outstretched. Alice suddenly buried her face in my forearms. I was a bit surprised and embarrassed but was honored facilitating Alice's worship of her God.
Yes, Alice loves God. And God must find Alice irresistible too.
During the early years of my visits, Alice did reflect that there was something wrong with her head. But Alice was never bitter over what was happening to her. I never felt that she blamed God. We never had discussions about this. Alice was too busy enjoying the worship of God.
Please know that it is not God's will or plan that Alice or anyone else be so stricken and her mind so diminished. God is Love and is just not capable of such hurt.
For many years I carried the message and the treasure of the church to Alice.
As reflected by Alice's behavior, this is the message Alice would convey to you.
"Love God! Seek Love and God and find the greatest peace.
Love each other! Be longing for forgiveness and eager to forgive and be at peace with each other.
Forgive yourselves! Looking back, we could have always done better and done more. But we have all tried to love and we are all gathered here in this holy place today. My dear ones, that is sufficient, so be at peace with yourselves. I love you."